Let Go
This poem is actually in response to one of Valerie's poems that she wrote when she was 18- I wrote this poem or almost prayer at around the same age, so I thought I would publish it to see if anyone else can make some connections. As I stated in my response to Valerie's poem, I find this relative because I believe that everyone at one time or another went through horrible times of turmoil during adolescence (wondering: is that the purpose of that age bracket or what?!?) and looking back at some of the writing I did at that time is not only interesting, but also imperative in order to self- reflect at where I am now, how far I've come, and if my mind set is similar or completely different from that stage in my life.
Let Go (excerps)
Make me let go,
Give me strength to move on,
Reach ahead, not look behind
Time comes to move on, change will come
Thank those who have added to my life,
And forget those who took something away.
Shattered toys and lost innocence leave a void,
Halt the crashing waves from engulfing me
Calm my storm
Find closure, complete memories so that I can move on
To an open mind, and open heart
Satisfy me
posted by Dana @ 7:47 PM
1 Comments:
Dana,
I just wanted to comment on your poem. First of all, before I do that, I just wanted to say that adolescence is definitely a time of turmoil for all. I have done much reflecting on this, and I have come to the conclusion that, despite everyone saying that it is supposed to be the BEST time of our life, I fail to see that as true. Everyone's bodies are going through physical and hormonal changes to begin with. On top of that, teenagers mind's are going through turmoil, for they are trying to find themselves, and on top of that, are trying to find acceptance among their peers. It is a constant flux to be a teenager and it seems as though, at the time, it means life or death depending on what social group you find yourself in, or whether or not you're developing as fast as others. There are so many complications and added fears, which develop into insecurities, whether conscious or not. It really is a time of upheaval, and undoubtedly, one that you cannot ignore. Therefore we find ourselves (or FOUND in my case!) forced into this age of maturity and discovery which hits us like "fit hitting the shan", and we just have to push on through somehow. OKay, that was my spiel. Now, for comments on your poem, which by the way, I felt to be very penetrating, for lack of a better term right now. :)
I enjoyed how your poem began with a sense of wanting to BREAK FREE of that which was holding you down. Many times when poets are writing about something "negative", they find themselves beginning the poem with that negation, and it really does set a certain tone when doing that. So, I enjoyed to know that as I read the first three lines of your poem, that it gave me a sense of the negative, but with the positive "sun shining through in small, yet distinct rays".
The fourth line "Time comes to move on, change will come" then shows a verification of that hope that was spelled out in the first three lines; it shows that you are definitively hoepful that things WILL work out and that you are now aware of those people/things in your life that are keeping you going.
The line which you talk about "Shattered toys and lost innocence leave a void" is really significant to the theme of this poem because it is revealing the fact that innocence is no longer an option in life because you are no longer a child, therefore having to face the consciousness of becoming an adult and dealing with adult situations in life.
"Halt the crashing waves from engulfing me/Calm my storm/Find closure, complete memories so that I can move on" - These few lines though confused me a bit, because from the beginning of the poem, I was always getting a sense of hopefulness, and when I read these lines, I began to ponder if you were doubting yourself, or if you were asking a higher being to "take things from you". So, the impression I got from these lines, were that you were standing in an insecure position again. Now, don't get me wrong! I thought this was a great poem, but I would like you to clarify for me what you were trying to portray in these few lines. My ideas are that you PURPOSELY did this because many times, people find themselves feeling hopeful again about lifting themselves out of their negativity, but then succumb once again to it out of weakness and fear. Or, did you write those lines the way you did to show that you WERE actually letting go of that which was holding you down, and were trying to deal with it in a more spiritual sense?
Let me know, I'd love to hear your response! See you in class on Monday. By the way, I haven't figured out who you are, so feel free to say hi! I'd like to introduce myself!
Post a Comment
<< Home